Let Them... But Don’t Give Away Your Next Move

Knowing when to speak and when to let go

Let Them. Two small words... It’s had a revival lately, and I have a funny relationship with that revival. Because “let them” can sound like stepping back. Like letting people behave however they want while you quietly accept it. That’s not what it means to me. It doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility, difficult conversations or standing up for yourself. It’s about knowing what’s yours to do, and what isn’t yours to control. One of my favourite teachers, Marc Holzman, wrote about this, and it stuck with me. The phrase has been popularised by coach Mel Robbins, but the idea has been around forever, Stoicism, Buddhism, Radical Acceptance. If they choose someone else over you, let them. If they misunderstand you, let them. If they cut you off in the queue, let them. There’s freedom in that. But there’s also a catch: knowing when to act and when to let go. A while back in my studies, I found myself staring down what felt like a real injustice. It stung. I teetered on the edge, speak up, or let them? My therapist didn’t hesitate. This wasn’t the time to retreat. Our conversation helped me recognise that I needed to say something, not just for them to hear it, but for me to know I had. So I did. With fear and fire. And then… nothing. No reply. No reckoning. Just silence. That’s when I finally let them. Not before, but after I’d said my part. Because sometimes peace doesn’t come from being heard. It comes from knowing you spoke. And then there are times when letting them *is* the whole point. The other day, I hired a car and had to get a shuttle bus to the rental desk. A guy in front sprinted around the bus to cut the queue. Annoying? Yes. Comical? Also yes. I let him. I even joked about how vital it must be for him to get there first. He laughed. We ended up chatting about our trips. That time, keeping it light was the right choice. Not because it didn’t matter. That time, I could let the irritation pass and see what happened next. Let them. But don’t give away your next move.